♥ What that doesn't kill you makes you stronger

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Like falling stars

I kinda treasure my weekends like mad currently.

Nothing fantastic is going on in school currently. Okay maybe there's this hype going on in school because the new batch is here. Something's different about this year's orientation, feels like it's more properly executed and more planning has been done.

I can't wait for the long long weekend this coming week. Not that I really look forward to Chinese New Year because I find visitings awfully boring and draggy at times, so much so that my dad would try to make a getaway and bring me along. I just need this long break to perhaps take my mind off and maybe stay away from the things I don't wanna deal with for awhile.

Had a good heart to heart talk with my dad a few days back. He asked jokingly, "do you think I spoilt you to much?" Well...maybe a bit? Because I get almost everything I ask for. Then again, I know my limits, kinda. At least I don't go overboard. I think my Dad's super thankful that I'm not that kinda girl who goes for branded bags, branded shoes, branded clothes and all the what nots. At least for now, I'm not for all these. But whatever it is, I am thankful for the parents that I've got. I think I inherited more of my dad's genes though, temper and everything. Dad has been teaching my brother and I to be humble at all times and I think he taught us right. I'm contented with the things I have in life now & I love my Dad so much because he's just the best dad I could ever wish for, in every aspect.

Like falling stars over your head,
We were bound to burn out burn like crashing cars

Psychological Barrier
There's this wall. You tried to get over it, countless of times but you just can't get to the other side. Instead, this wall just gets higher and higher after each failed attempt.

I think this would follow me all the way up till god knows when.
What's 'this' you may ask, don't think you'll need to know.
Just that somehow, I wish I could get rid of it fast.
It's tormenting.

Moodswing much eh these days? Haha.
Must be the weather or is it, really?

you don't always see the pain someone feels

Good or Bad?
Sometimes I don't know whether to be thankful to have such a splendid memory ( not applicable to studies though, sadly) . I am able to remember down to little nitty gritty things at times. It's both good and bad you see. Good because well, there are things in life you don't ever want to forget. So, your memory somehow helps to preserve these good things in you, for you to look back and treasure. Then again, there are the other things you don't want to remember. Simply because, these 'other' things don't serve you any good, bad memories of all sort, pain, sadness and anger. But somehow, your memory just keeps them anyway. These memories haunt you over and over again and sometimes it just makes it harder to do whatever you're supposed to do in life.

Been feeling a tat moodier recently. Main contributor to this whole moody thing should be because of my lack of sleep or maybe not. I can't seem to really decipher what kind of mood I am in nowadays. It ranges from me being happy to me being frustrated, sometimes neutral and maybe sometimes a little sad. Mood swing much? To further add on, the different expectations are all coming in, it's getting kinda stressful actually & it's only January.

Currently trying to imagine what it'll be come like in the next few months.
Then again, better not.
I wanna stay delusional, just for awhile more, heh!

lingering question kept me up

19th

I just got the most awesome 19th birthday celebration EVER. Really so grateful to everyone who put in effort to celebrate the day with me (: There are 3 specific groups of people I need to thank. S11 who celebrated it for me in the morning with a cute cake(I'll try to upload the picture another time) also the clique gave me the most epic hilarious present ever, the 4 intruders at my house in the afternoon and S12 at night. (:

I swear the 4 intruders at my house were damn adorable. Though I kinda knew what was up their sleeves, I still liked the pleasant surprise. & not to mention, they cooked lunch for me!(:>

Yay! So yeap! I'mma really happy girl(:

could have fallen in love~

Pretty Pretty Please


(:

Have you ever tried so hard to forget something but they never go away? You tried to run away, you tried not to face it but only to realise, reality keeps coming back to haunt you. I thought it got better, I really thought so. Well, honestly it did. But there are just some things, inevitable to rid it off for good.

You just can't hold onto something forever. There comes a point of time I guess, you realise letting go means, you being happier. & in a way, life is too short to be nothing but happy right?

So anyway someone told me, the sweeter the better. Indeed, the sweeter the better, as much as it sounds so much like an irony.

& I hope Spotty is probably somewhere nice and enjoying himself right now. No pain, no suffering. I know he had to go, 15 years was all he had with me and it has been a good 15 years that he had given me. He actually outlived his supposed lifespan. Such a good and strong willed dog, I'll definitely miss him dearly.

Enchanted

Star gazing was simply beautiful to do there.
There were probably hundreds of stars each night and we just laid there, talking about everything and anything.

Since you've been gone

I still miss him.
& I still blame myself for not being there.

All the sorries I said, just came too late.
But I hope he heard me.

Without him, the house is so quiet.
He used to follow me everywhere around the house and now that he's gone, I feel so empty.

I really love him so much and how I wish he could come back.
I wonder where you are right now, hopefully somewhere where there's no pain.

15 years flew pass like this.
I don't think I'll ever get used to him not being around.
I really miss Spotty so damn much.

So much...

I don't know why I'm typing it here when I know he can't see it. Maybe to make myself to feel a little better by pouring it all out.