♥ What that doesn't kill you makes you stronger

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It's been sucha a long and tiring and stressful week. There were like so many, so many deadlines to meet. Thank God it's all over, for now. Next week probably wouldn't be any better but that I'll leave myself to worry when the new week starts.

Yesterday was probably the best day out of the whole week, simply because Friday signifies the end of a school week. Stayed to do some ND stuff, pretty fun actually. I've got fun-loving, crazy friends. & then, went to the airport and happened to chance upon Leeminho's arrival. How coincidental huh? Oh man, he's super handsome. Actually I was getting pretty impatient waiting for him and all, since I wasn't there on purpose to see him. I was pretty calm and all until I heard the fans screaming, I swear my heart started to pound faster as well. Retarded right! He's so handsome! I can't stop saying that.

Seriously, very handsome....

Okay, got to snap out of it. HAHA (:


oh, what a thing to do.

I guess sometimes when you're just far too stressed up and have totally no mood for anything, adverse side effects would start to surface. Like, singing and totally going hyper, not to mention annoying your friends to the max.

Well, today I think...

1) Shelia almost wanted to murder me cause I was annoying her with my singing while she was doing her work.

2)Valerie almost went crazy listening to me sing. She kept going, " Cheryl~!I wonder how you got into choir". She didn't know what to say more or less. Then later she joined me in this singing session too. Why do I have so much influence? HAHA.

3)Friends deliberately showed me the ghost face from the movie which I didn't see last week. Great. Now I would have even greater problems falling asleep.

4) Wasn't such a bad day at school.

My three best-est girlfriends in JC (:

I'm so brave, I watched Blood Pledge today. Those who know me well enough would know I can't take such horror movies for nuts. Barely 5 minutes into the show and I was already covering my eyes. I only peeked out of my jacket if the scene was a bright and sunny one, other than that...back into my jacket I go. So, unlike my friends...I didn't see the scary face at all. Val who was sitting to my right was seriously epic. She too, was covering her face with her jacket more than half the time, say...maybe I cover like 90 percent of the time, she covered like 89%?

So, I was in the midst of covering my face behind the jacket and suddenly Val screams. So I nudged her,

Me:" Eh, what happen in the show? Tell me eh, I never watch"
Val:" I don't know eh, I also never see."
Me:"Wtshit?! Then you scream for what?!"
Val:" I hear the people in the show scream, so I also scream"

LOL! This happened a few times.

Towards the end, the scenes were always dark and kinda sinister looking, and I figured out if it continued to be that way, I would probably be stuck behind the jacket without knowing anything about the movie at all.So what did I do? (: I blocked out the whole screen with my jacket, everything besides the subtitles below. Awesome right! So yeah, you can ask me what the story's about, I know everything! (:


After the show, me and val were like clarifying some of the details we had missed in the show with the others.

Me: " What happened at the toilet part?"
S: " Ha, you saw the subtitles only right? Oh and maybe the toilet floor tiles too?haha!"
Me:"LOL YEAH."
S: "Next time the ghost face should be placed somewhere at the subtitles "
Val:" You really never see the ghost's face at all?! I saw it like, 3 times?!"
Me:" No eh, I could only saw the subtitles and maybe abit of the ghost's mouth..."


Epic huh.

No horror movies for me in time to come. Thanks. I don't know whether I can fall asleep tonight. Though I didn't watch much, I'm still pretty freaked out :(

You know how sometimes, you tell people you're okay but you're actually really not okay, but then again you really don't want to bother them? Yeah. I'm just random.

Uhh, anyway nothing major happened yesterday I guess, no worries (for real) (: I'm kinda tired right now. Just not in the mood to do like anything at all! I pretty tempted to like, stone my life away currently. I really don't want to do my tutorials. I really don't wanna go to school. Gahh, where's my motivation?

I think cats and dogs are really smart animals, in a way. I remember my tutor telling me once, her cat was really ill and in the final stages of her life, the cat couldn't eat much and stuff,the once affectionate cat would then also avoid human contact and one day it just disappeared and never came back. I asked her why the cat would run away. She said, it probably didn't want her family to be sad over it's death. Now, my mum just told me the same thing. My grandma's cat of 9 years was recently diagnosed with kidney problem, it wasn't eating well and just one day after being diagnosed with kidney problem by the vet, the cat disappeared too. So sad huh. It's like, they don't want anyone to be saddened by their deaths, so they chose to leave.

Then, it brings me back to my own dogs. I've got two. One, which is soley mine, more or less and another, which my parents and brother love very much. Not that I don't love it. Just that, I think everyone and anyone shouldn't be treated like a toy. It's like, you don't get a new toy and throw the old one away or get sick of the older toy cause' you don't have any use for it anymore. So, I show more concern for the older dog cause I think Max has enough of it from my brother, Dad and Mum (: The one that's mine, I know he won't live for long. He's really quite old now. Barely, 5 years younger than me? But I love him very very much. I've got no idea how I'd react once it's time for him to go.

Blah, part and parcel of our bittersweet life.


I wanna see my motivation.


& i'm thinking, two is better than one.

Dear blog,

I'm feeling a myriad of feelings right now and probably with a pinch of sadness. I don't quite know how to feel regarding this whole thing but the song that I'm listening to now is certainly intensifying the mood I am in right now. I know I wrote in the previous post that one shouldn't be sad for too long a period, treat yourself better, I said. I need to practice what I preach, but give me awhile. I need to sort out my thoughts. Actually, I'm really quite sad right now. I'll build my walls higher next time.

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go,
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow.

Yeah, treat yourself better.

I don't understand how can some people be so unhappy with life. I mean, yea sure I say 'FML' pretty often nowadays but I don't quite mean it. Yes life, at times don't favour your way, you may rant, you may cry, you may be angry, you may be frustrated and all the whatnots, but how can someone be unhappy every single day for months and years?

Actually here's a confession, I think was like that last year. Because I was always unhappy and sad, I became pretty dull. Foolishness on my part I guess. I wasn't happy, it was hard to be happy. Many things happened, many of which didn't quite favour me. Close friends could tell the change in me and got pretty worried. Some said,' it's like you're here with us but your heart's elsewhere' & because I was unhappy, I really felt tired. Mentally and physically. I don't know when I actually 'woke up' from this unhappiness, maybe when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

' Treat yourself better at least please' was what my close friend told me to do or rather, pleaded me to do. & thank god for such friends!

And because I know how tired it is being so unhappy, I don't want to see close ones being like that too. Currently, I do feel like knocking some sense into certain people. How long do you intend to stay resentful, angry, sad and all? Okay, maybe we do hold grudges regarding certain matters, against someone but even if we do, there's no need to pull long and sad faces all day right? Life still has to go on even if we have a million and one grudges against someone.

"Happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think" -Dale Carnegie

So, cheer up!I'm sure your friends and family members would want you to be happy or at least, happier as well (: Do at least one nice thing for yourself each day! Like, treating yourself to nice food or something! & start noticing the little things in life, cause they really do make life a little more vibrant even though the impact may be small. Grudges? Hopefully time will take them away. I'm still waiting for mine to be taken away! Haha. I've waited damn long already.

Less friends tell me,' don't emo' nowadays. (: It's an achievement for me okay! You have no idea how many ' don't emos' have I heard in my life. Sure I do ' emo' now and then, but the frequency of doing so is lesser. Maybe because I'm happy,okay maybe not entirely happy of course but at least a happier person than who I was last year. Couldn't do it without a lot of people! Yay! (:

I still think I'm crazy sounding so optimistic nowadays. Must be the stress, seriously.

Let's Celebrate (:

I don't what to say, but the words in the pictures are so freaking true. Gosh, it's been a super, super long and tiring and stressful week for me. For those who know, will know why. & to the few who know, thank you so much. You definitely helped me to pull through the week. I'm fine now though (: I'mma strong girl, HEH.

Took the chance this afternoon after school to chillax a little. Went to watch 'despicable me' with the S12 peeps. The show's pretty lame in a way, but touching story plot in a way. The young girl character in the show was super cute though, ' it's so fluffy i'm going to die!', ha.

I think I'm going to crash into bed early tonight. Whatever it is, stay strong people! Don't give up, no matter what. Today I was timing myself over some stuff, I had a minute to go and I was super close,super close on giving up that is. I was like,' oh gosh...i'm so tired already,really feel like letting it go, but damn it but i've got to do this', so i kinda just pressed on a little more(actually a lot more since i was on the verge of dying) and I got what I wanted. It's wasn't a big matter lah, pretty trivial actually but still! It pays not to give up, somehow.

For my results, I've got to press on too.
Somewhat sickening but just got to do it.

Nowadays I seem so optimistic huh. I think the stress must be driving me crazy. But anyway, keyword here : Seem.
Goodnight people!(:

tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

I think I need to grow up and step out of my comfort zone.

Even down to the simplest things, like knowing people and friends around me who have started smoking is such a big deal to me. & even the soccer betting thing comes as a surprise to me. I'm uncomfortable at first when I meet someone who acts really differently( character-wise) and which I don't quite agree, it takes time to get used to. I'm too naive probably. Too simple-minded for my own good. I would like like to think the world as simple but it's far too sophisticated in reality.

& I should really accept not all the people around me are how I like them to be. The world out there's so big, I have yet to meet people from all walks of life and it'll probably be scarier. So, I've got to prepare myself now, just so I won't be in for a rude shock in the future.

& I hate quarelling and fights. I mean who likes them but seriously, I can't take all these shit.

I really don't wanna go to school tomorrow. Like there's this hellish session of PE in the hot sun and like 3 hours of consecutive lessons with only a half an hour break in the whole day.

I like this photo very very much. & the batch of people inside too. The batch of people I like the most in those 4 years. Seniors, Juniors.

Random huh?
Yeah, I know.

I've been thinking about certain stuffs today.
& I don't know how to put all the feelings I felt into words but the paragraph below, somehow is applicable to me.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

These feelings that come by once in awhile, are sometimes even too complex for myself to understand. Life's just too bittersweet.


was thinking my time away.

I am super angsty right now.

I have no idea we're made to do 4 freaking reading logs. What's the freaking rationale behind it? It's not like we receive constructive feedback after doing it. All we get is one 'tick' and another 'seen' on the damn reading logs when we get them back.Waste time please? Are we suppose to actually gain anything from that? Did i mention, he even admitted to having thought that he lost our logs initially?

Awesome huh.
Yeah, tell me about it.

Angsty angsty angsty.
I need to chill.

Today I met up with Bao.

Missed this little dear so much. Okay, maybe she's not that little anymore. This little girl has grown so much that she's even taller than Cheryl Anne and myself. Even Annie was shocked when she saw her. Aye, I think I stopped growing already luh. :(

Over lunch, we were like laughing and laughing.The subsequent time spent together, we laughed a lot as well. Bet the shopkeepers were all like staring at the both of us. It's like we're laughing at the products they're selling, but it was really not the case =/ It was something else that came to mind that made us laugh our asses off. Tsk, so unglam.

I guess somehow, something just keeps bringing you back to your secondary school friends. Perhaps it's the close bond everyone shared. Perhaps, it's the ' family feeling' that Bao was talking about, the 'family feeling' she felt in Secondary 3 and 4 she said. To me, it's because it was in secondary school where I grew up with all my friends, be it in band or in the classrooms, it was like a second home then. It felt comfortable, things were so much less sophisticated then and everyone was really just happy with one another's presence. I received a random text from a close friend, " I miss TK" this afternoon coincidently. Yeah, I miss TK too. One and a half years have passed, but we're still so attached to the school. (Y)

Sometimes people change and forget to tell one another. I've seen so many people change, some close ones, some not-so close ones. & sometimes it's sad cause' change is inevitable and we can't really stop it. I've a friend, he/she seem to have changed. Not exactly for the better in my opinion and some others. Hopefully, she/he realises soon enough.


Alright! No major blows yet for today. Phew. Have a great day ahead tomorrow everyone! (: Don't give up, no matter what. ( applicable to myself too, trying to pyscho myself)


Back to reality.

So sweet huh.

Just finished watching this drama series and I think I melted several times. Oh god, so sweet. I'll marry my boyfriend right away if he ever does all of those things for me or to me. (: But aye, back to reality. Such things don't quite exist and if so, I haven't really seen it yet.

Relationships, so unpredictable.


Okay, tomorrow torment begins.
Here come the results.



It's sad but sometimes,
Moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye.

My brother's 21st birthday party went pretty well I guess. It was kinda funny, the emcee was quite a joker. I wonder if I would hold one in 3 years' time. Would my primary, secondary and JC friends still be there to celebrate it with me?

Nice seeing James and Kenneth there. Looking back, wow. I've known Kenneth since primary school. He was my brother's friend and his sister Lydia was my good friend! It felt a little weird when he became my senior while we were both in Band. While James, he was my SL in Secondary 1 and my brother's classmate as well back in TK! Oh, look at Kenneth's hair -.-

Alright! Off to lalaland I go.


Tell me,
Didd you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way
To see all the lights faded
And that heaven's overrated