♥ What that doesn't kill you makes you stronger

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How the hell'd we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try an' turn the tables?

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late

Nothin's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I'd hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing

Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday I will


It felt really great to be back at TK too, seeing all the familiar faces.Back with the homies today also, awesome feeling. It really felt like, home. I miss all of them so, so much. Pretty much the same old people. The usual fooling around and everything. Nothing has really changed...or maybe, well.

Went back to the same old place, where I kinda clearly remember our first 3E outing which we had there too. The same old game we used to play. Sometimes, I wish I could rewind time, to just go back to the days we had in Secondary Three. At least, I know I was happier then.


Sitting by the beach, I guess, they know me best. Our years of friendship didn't go to waste. I told them I sincerely wished they were with me every single day, right by my side. At least, I'd probably get more assurance. I don't know whether to laugh or otherwise, with one cracking lame jokes and the other giving me constant moral support. & all these when I didn't really say much either, they just came automatically. Jokers, but sweet of them also. He's right. I'll use friends and family members to be my motivational tool. Well like what Geng said in Macs, tell yourself you don't wanna pangseh your friends (as in, they promote while you retain ) and push yourself. Like what Saiful said, everyone has to go through some difficult phase in life but telling yourself everything will eventually turn out alright will help you pull through. Like how Cong sang " Keep holding on" ,yes...keep holding on.

So, although there's been so much going on , how suffocating it has been so far...I'm going to pull myself up for now, till promos are over at least,cause I know I've been a cause of worry for some close friends this year & especially when I can't tell them why...and, I guess no one can really help me except for myself for now? Yeah.

But saying is of course easier than doing everything I've just said.
Somehow, I've got to make it work.

Errr, all these wasn't meant to be what you would like to term "emo' but yea, whatever.
ZZZ. & you know what, I think I have rheumatism or something. My ankle is like...ZZZZZ?! I don't know what's wrong with it and apparently, the doctor can't seem to find the exact cause of the sharp pains either. Wtshit.

Okay,off to bond with chem bonding, shit.

In places no one will find,
All your feelings so deep inside.

Sometimes, it gets so hard to believe.


Anyway,PW's being an ass,seriously.
Doing PW for about 5 hours is not fun, at all. But it's the company you get that makes it,somehow...not so miserable. Just like last weekend, whereby there were so many of us doing it together, on the floor, in the middle of nowhere. So unglam.

Fish. My form teacher has mailed us the promo's timetable via the portal. Our official nightmare starts on 2nd october and mine would end by...8th october? I don't get it, why in the world do they have to squeeze the geography paper and chemistry paper together?!

Speaking of which, I've totally lost my chemistry with geography this year. T.T Thanks to that... woman. She spends probably like ten minutes to get settled down, then the next 15 minutes to settle admin stuffs, the next 15 minutes talking about irrelevant stuffs like basic social etiquette and with the remaining 20 minutes, she attempts to teach but we've got no idea what the hell she's talking about. Oh not to mention our oh-so-wonderful reference book, which gives one liner explainations but we're expected to produce like what?A one page length answer in exams from that? ZZZ.

Tell me what I felt then was true.

Learning journey yesterday was more of like a massive cam whoring session.
Sigh, people are falling ill one by one.
I hope my twin gets well soon!

I've got a math test tomorrow.
Shit.

Anyway, beloved Fiona gave me a surprise (: Thank you so much darling. I promise to fully utilise the pillow, be it to sit on it, to sleep on it, to punch it, to hug it...whichever. I'm glad to know I've got so many friends, so many friends who I know I can still rely on when I need them.

& there's a name for what you've put me through,
:(

Wtshit, how unlucky I was today.

They had some random spot check on our attire and I got caught for my skirt -.- All thanks to that busybody teacher of the class next door... she caught like 3 from her class and somehow pyschoed our teacher to catch 6 of us?! And in the end, only 9 of us from the whole bloody cohort got caught. Bitch.

The teacher who talked to us was nice though, just as she was about to let me go, I got caught again for my earring. ZZZ. Oh well, but none of these spoilt my day...Basically, I couldn't be bothered. I have no idea if I'll get through tomorrow though =X

Life's hard at times.I guess, there'll bound to be a time where everything changes. New friends, new environment, new everything . Disappointments. Setbacks. Sadness. At different points in your life, there are people who walk out of your life unexpectedly and also, others who walk in. People and things you know, suddenly become people and things you knew. These changes are overwhelming. You don't know where to go all of a sudden, you wonder how the future will be like and it's like, you're lost and afraid and you don't know what to do or go from here.There's so many, so many questions but none of which you have answers to. Somehow, everyone goes through this stage. So, don't worry girl, cause everyone is just like you and you know, you've got so many friends that will be there for you, that includes me (:

I kinda had some queer dream yesterday & I woke up thinking, " how nice if it came true, how nice if I could....again."It felt so real. But then dreams are just dreams...yea?



What am I suppose to do with all these blues
Haunting me everywhere
No matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go, when will the night be over

1.13 am.

Sigh.

I've been thinking a lot... and apparently, sometimes I think it's quite stupid and foolish of me. Why do I even bother now?Someone told me this, " you should be stronger." I really should because, deep inside, I know already.

Another person and I were talking about memories in general. Memories, are they a good thing or bad thing? Good and bad I guess. Depends.



It'll be a freaking long day later, 4 hours of lectures tutorials and extra lessons consecutively is no joke. BOOO! Plus, there's math test this week. Shit.

I'm already looking forward to the weekends.



Till that very day.
if I were a boy, I think I could understand

Shit.

I still can't concentrate.

Shit shit shit.

Promos is just round the corner.

Shit shit shit shit .

My friends and I have one common motivation : to get our asses out of this stupid school, ASAP. Which means... retain

SHIT.

I must not let the encouragements,care and concern that close friends have constantly given me go to waste. Sigh. I've been going through the motions of the past few months in a blur and somewhat in a daze. & it was really damn hard for me,still is. But thank god, thank god I have them cause without them, i wouldn't know how to pull through honestly.

Omg. And you know what, Chem bonding is like crap. Just when I thought I would probably die from memorising chem bonding in secondary three, you know, those chunky short paragraphs Mrs Chee used to make us write like probably a hundred times over and over again...it's worser now. At that time, we didn't know Chem Bonding at A level is like this...like crap basically. Lone pair? Bond pair? Trigonal planar?Bent? Whatttttt???

Today we did a GP comprehension talking about leisure time. And yea, I agree. Too much

MC.

Took a pink form and got out to see a doctor after we were done with our Econs test, which thankfully was the first period of the day. Many of my classmates persuaded me to go home after seeing how I looked. They asked me to try out the polyclinic near our school. I did. My first time there, so I took awhile to figure out how to go about registering. -.- Know what, I spent a freaking 1.5 hours stoning/ waiting to register + waiting for my turn to see the doctor which never came. When I registered, there were about 70 people in front of me in the queue. When I waited for the doctor, there were like, 15 people in front of me. It really like half the world was there,seriously. In the end, I went to a private clinic instead, and was done and over in ten minutes-.-

Sigh.
I've really got to help myself cause only I can.


That I'd be anywhere but here without you

& it has taken a toll on me

You know what, i'm really very tired of everything.
And if I could, I would choose to go far far away, for a little while.


& how I wish, I could borrow a shoulder right now.

Frustrations, when will they end?

1) I freaking made a careless mistake in my Chem SPA.
2) I've got an Econs test next week.
3) Maths Test the following week.
4) Chem test the following following week?
5) ... ... Some Stuffs.
6) I want to sleep like now, but my I've got to memorised this whole chunk of Econs shit on Market failure, for later.

Opportunity cost involved while memorising Econs= Cheryl's sleep...gone!
When demand for homework/tests is more than the supply of sleep time, a shortage occurs.This causes an upward pressure on prices ( for sleep time).... Okay, I'm just crapping. -.-


Took me for granted
Planted thorns in this garden of mine

Sleepless nights.


Sometimes it's like, a mild case of insomnia yet not really. It seems like you're actually asleep but yet, you're still kinda awake that sort of thing. Sometimes, I wake up feeling scared, scared of I don't know what. What's wrong with me? :(


With 6-7 weeks left to promos, I'm actually....kinda freaking out. I don't know how I'm still managing to stay calm right now and telling friends who are super stressed out to chillax a little and not stress themselves out too much. Last year, I clearly remember,when it was about 60 days to O levels, I was panicking like shit...now?


I don't know. It's been about 7 months experiencing the JC life. Well, all I can say is I certainly do not want to experience another extra 12 months experiencing this "quality" school life all over again next year. Certainly have no mood,no drive,no motivation to start all over again, especially without all my close friends.


Okay, all the stupid,mind-blowing, stressful topics aside.


Yesterday, I've got lots of comments about my bag. -.- especially from that noisy Russell Brussells. He's like the second Jermaine la. Don't come find fault with me for just one day like will die like that,ahah. Tomorrow I think I will hear a standard phrase,"Basket, Quek... blog about me on your blog again" Something along this line la (:


Okay shucks. I just remembered. Tomorrow we're gonna have SPA.
RAR!







Can't let the music stop,
Can't let this feeling end

Misunderstandings.
It's so sad, when you couldn't tell someone how you felt because you had a reason,but that someone just couldn't see that reason...

Think so?

The storms are ragging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free

Coincidently, I bumped into my darling today. Honestly, I was somewhat happy though it wasn't such a big deal.

God, I miss like so many, so many people.


& that includes you.

Can't wait for friday now (:

National day!

I'm so darn tired. If I were to close my eyes now for just 5 minutes, I'll probably find myself somewhere in lalaland. The past few nights have been like hell. There were just so much homework and assignments to hand up. Monday night was the worst, I think my right arm was close to breaking.




Russell Brusssell, nice name right (: Yesterday I asked Russell Brussell to shower his darling with some TLC, in another words, tender loving care. And apparently, he thought TLC was tables,ladders and chairs. What the shit, ahaha.




Sigh.



Remember all the things we wanted


Who is this, that i see ?

This is like so random, but I kinda miss Jermaine's crap! It's like we see each other in school and go " hi slut", " hi bitch" that sort of thing. Not to mention, all the constant bickering and arguing while doing our own UM stuffs. Once, we were asked by geraldine if I remember correctly, why the both of us like quarelling with each other so much...cause every single band practice, while up at the second tier doing our stuffs, you'll hear us quarelling. Haha, but most of the time our quarelling sessions are also laughing-our-asses off sessions. Plus, not forgetting how we,the two girls always "blackmail" him into the office first and and and those times, on the field, when somehow during formation plotting or something along that line, our positions in the formation are somehow near each other, then he'll start to sing and all of a sudden, the sky turns super dark and it starts to pour. (: Gah, things like these are hard to forget (:


Okay, I got like damn a lot of things to do. Since morning, I was counting the hours down to the time I could actually leave school and come home.

At 8am it was " Gah, 10 hours more" -.-
Imagine how sian we all were and now, I'm super tired now and there goes my sleep for tonight la.There's still geog tutorial, econs tutorial+ corrections and written report to do.

How I wish I could just fall sick and skip school tomorrow.

You got me standing at the bottom of this mountain that we've made

Mondays are so dreadful.
JC life's such a bitch, don't you think so? Bet a bulk of us got cheated into coming here. Ahaha.
I've got tons of homeowork not done. Simply brilliant!

RAR! Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day ahead, sigh! :(




& so, you chose to run away.

TGFF.
Thank God for fridays.

Fridays are like, my most favourite days out the week now. It's like, finally you get a break from school. I really need like some kind of long term mc, from school.

Dinner out with 2B peeps. Didn't see all the guys for so long! Still a bunch of jokers. Makan, crapped, talked and laughed. Was kinda tired though after such a long day. Apparently, the coach felt that something was amiss with me yesterday. " Something's wrong with you today" Ahaha. I don't know how many times I heard that phrase from him yesterday.


Parent's meeting session today! I thought, it would be disastrous but nah, wasn't that bad. There wasn't exactly any negative comments about me,heheh...I'm sucha good girl (: Uhh...academics wise...let's not talk about it. =X

Sigh. Days to come, can't imagine. Definitely hectic, long and tiring. Don't know how I'm gonna survive through this ultimate madness.


Forgetting is one thing, forgiving is another.